GPOY.
This is me, in my car (classy, I know), dressed as Wonder Woman, about to walk through a park in San Clemente looking for a birthday party at which I am training small children to be super heroes. Fact.
Question: What kind of modern day child not only knows who Wonder Woman is, but requests to have her at their birthday party? This seemed strange to me as well. I even double checked with my boss that this was, in fact, a children’s party I was being sent to. I even worried that maybe what this kid actually wanted was one of the Incredibles or something, and if that was the case, boy were these kids (not to mention their parents) going to be in for a shock when I showed up in my patriotic leotard and knee high platform boots. But nonetheless, I picked up the costume from my boss, attempting, as she requested, to make it less sexy and as child appropriate as possible (it’s just not possible; I mean really, what can you do?) and think about all the Disney princesses, and cartoon characters, and heroes that exist in the world. So again, I ask, what kind of child wants Wonder Woman at their birthday party above all else?
Answer: The most bad ass, five year old ball of awesome I have ever met in my entire life. I walked through the park, into this party, feeling self conscious and half naked, only to be greeted by a group of 4-6 year olds ALL dressed like various superheroes. The birthday girl, Eva, ran right up to me immediately in her little Wonder Woman costume that was (thankfully) much less scandalous than mine, and after staring up at me in awe and asking if I was really there for her birthday party, proceeded to lead me over to her table and introduce me to all her superhero friends.
(Warning: embarrassingly sentimental cheese below)
These kids were the most sweet, polite, intelligent, wonderful children I have ever met in my life. There was not a Disney princess in sight; fuck damsels in distress, these little girls were ass kicking superheroes right along with all the little boys. Some of the moms there even played games with us. I had the time of my life. I wanted to stay all day, and become friends with these amazing people and their wonderful, wonderful children (alas, I had another costume and another party to go to, but that’s beside the point). When I had to leave, Eva walked with me to path leading out of the park, and when I bent down to give her a hug goodbye, she held me tight and whispered “Thank you. I love you.” in my ear, and I had what was quite possibly the most sappy, emotional moment of my life when I thought I might melt or cry or something equally embarrassing as I told her I loved her too. She and the other kids yelled goodbye to me over and over again as I walked away until I eventually turned a corner and was out of their sight.
Point: (a) Wonder Woman is awesome (b) Rebecca is a pathetic, sappy ball of cheesiness sometimes (c) Don’t underestimate a child’s capacity of badass-ery. Sometimes they just really are that awesome.
And that’s all I have to say.
signed,
the woman who claims she never wants to have kids.
